Many of us are facing big disappointments as more and more events and activities are cancelled. For children and teens this may include sports, clubs, music, dance, prom, graduation. The list goes on and on. We are getting a lot of questions from parents asking how to support their children through these losses. Here are some tips that may help.
Validation. Again, it is OK to agree with them that this is hard. This sucks. This is unfair." Fight the urge to follow-up that up with a “But, it will be OK” or “Things could be worse”. For them, there is nothing worse. Instead, follow-up it up with a hug and stay quiet. Let them know it is OK to feel that way.
Avoid What if’s: There are a lot of questions about how long this is going to last and what that means for the activities and events we are longing for. Because we don’t necessarily have an answer for when we can go back to these things or exactly what the time out of activities means, it is just unhelpful to spend a lot of time worried about it.
Focus on Here and Now: Instead, encourage your child to focus on the here and now, one day and one week at a time. If you were going back to practice next week, what would you do this week to get ready? What can we do here to stay sharp on your violin skills? Where can you get some practice, even if it looks different for a while? This is great problem solving, thinking outside the box, and will help your child feel more in control of the situation.
~Dr. Sam