It seems that a lot of us are falling into a negative cycle with our children. Arguing, fighting and tears… power struggles and kids refusing to comply. So how do you break that cycle? Here are a few simple tips to create more positive interactions with your child(ren).
Catch your child being good! While it is easy to focus on all of the things your child is refusing to do or his/her attitude while doing them, don’t forget the importance of praising your child when they are making good choices. This can be as simple as “Thank you for having a good attitude today” or “Nice job getting that worksheet done”. Remember, children will be much more compliant when they want to please you! If they never feel appreciated, they will lose motivation and act out for your attention in negative ways.
Stick to the 3:1 rule. For every negative statement or encounter with your child, try to balance that with 3 positive statements/encounters. This will help keep you on the positive track and will again increase your child’s desire to be good.
If you are having a hard time finding things to praise, you can always start with statements such as, “I really enjoyed watching that movie with you last night” or “I appreciate you trying to tell me how hard this is for you”. Avoid the power struggles.
If you need to take a couple days off of schoolwork to reset and regain the positive momentum, do it. Play a game or do something with your child that they are motivated to do – then start the praise and positive cycle that way!